You can’‘t, that’'s a security restriction in XMPP. The other person has to sent you a directed presence voluntarily, you can catch that via a packet listener.
anlumo is correct in the general case. One other thing you can do – if the user is on your local server, your local server may support an ad-hoc command to get presence data for that user. For example, Openfire lets you do this if you have an admin account in the server.