The nice thing about XMPP is that it can be easily extended. The Red5 plugin for Openfire is using the Jive Phone Integration extension proposal to handle the handshaking or signalling between two clients. Red5 is being used as a media server to handle the audio and video over a multiplexed RTMP or RTMPT connection after both parties have agreed to talk.
Red5phone on the other hand uses the RTMP connection to make 2 way remote method calls between a SIP client and a Flex/Flash client in addition to the media stream.
Implementing a XMPP client with Smack (Java) or XIFF (Flash/Flex) is much more easier and feature richer than re-inventing the “chat client wheel” with Flash shared objects. Just my 2 cents opinion
For red5 audio/video calls, Yes/No. It uses the Red5 template “oflaDemo” server-side application.
Red5phone SIP calls however use the “sip” server-side application which manages mjsip SIP client instances for each user. On my todo list is the action to tighten the security by linking the red5 server-side application with Openfire and use XMPP publish-subscribe to protect AV conversations and ensure permissions are enforced. A simpler approach would be your suggestion of exchanging long stream names.