grin Well even if you had the ability to edit their rosters, they could always add/remove roster items on their own. I don’'t think Openfire itself even supports “forced roster lists”. If you wanted mega control, I could almost see some sort of plugin that either:
blocked communication with unapproved contacts (perhaps a central database of valid contacts)
blocked adds of contacts that weren’'t on a list (see #1, but then again they could probably still IM folk not on their list)
intercepted all add requests and required someone to ok them, storing them in some sort of queue.
Said plugin would be better served outside the context of the IM Gateway plugin. =) (ie, forget just handling the external services, have something written that would do it server wide regardless of the service it’'s using)
Most likely that functionality isn’‘t going to come free. =) I don’‘t know if you are at all interested in Jive’‘s Enterprise Openfire product, but you might want to talk to them and suggest such functionality. Sounds like something that would be a nice hot ticket item for them and they’‘d likely work with you on your needs. Like I said though, that’'s not likely to be free. =)
Sorry to hear about being “screwed”. I’‘ve certainly made my share of “oh yeah we can do this” statements only to find out that I was mistaken. =) It probably wouldn’‘t be too hard to write your own plugin for this kinda functionality if you wanted to spend some time on it and you’'ve got some java expertise!