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TCP Port 5269 (S2S) - connection reset

hi, i need help. I have 2 chat servers (both 4.4.2) on the same subnet. i cannot get them to talk to each other. In troubleshooting i can see that if i telnet to port 5269 from server A to server B, i connect. but if I telnet to port 5269 from server B to server A, i do not connect.
I have looked at a packet capture on server A when the incoming telnet happens. the connection is immediately reset.
There are no layer 3 devices between these 2 servers, also, i have disabled firewalld on server A, this did not help
It appears to me that openfire is doing the reset, but i cannot tell for sure. the log files never mention the connection attempt.
I have also double checked that i am enabling server to server connection on port 5269 in server settings. i am also allowing all connections (no white/black list)

any help would be greatly appreciated.