Does the other services only crash if you run Openfire?
If you have a virtual server, does your server clock work correct? It’s a very complicated thing to let a virtual clock run correctly, if the CPU speed changes all the time corresponding to on the CPU load. If you just sync the time every hour or so using ntpdate and the time jump is larger than a few seconds network programms (like Openfire, Apache, MySQL, …) could crash.
When having clock problems and using VMware, here are some useful links:
did you set high Xmx values for Openfire? Maybe your server/desktop runs out of physical memory and starts to page things in and out - this makes every server very slow.
You may want to take a look at your used memory with cat /proc/meminfo". Take a look at http://www.redhat.com/advice/tips/meminfo.html for the meaning of the output, “MemFree” is usually low as Linux uses memory as a read-in cache (Cached). When “Cached” gets very low you may get problems.